I suppose we all have things that we feel we should know how to do as adults--but somehow just haven't mastered. Maybe it's driving a stick-shift, or reading a map, or figuring out how to download music from your friends so you really never have to spend another dollar on iTunes. One of the adult skills I have yet to master is properly using the post office in such a way that my needs are met to my satisfaction without a near panic-attack or meltdown.
It's that time of year for mailing packages, and I have made some recent trips to USPS 104 St., my local outpost. The last resulted in a 50-minute trip in which I was given multiple forms and asked to step away from the window twice to fill them out.
After the second time the lady asked me to step aside, I was like, It will only take me a second, please don't make me step aside again--I've been here for an hour. Look how fast I'm filling this out, it's like my pen is on fire.
And she was like, You can't expect me to wait and watch you fill out form 9,268. I'm not just going to stand here and watch you. If you do I'll give you forms 9,269 and 17AB and I'll give you those breast cancer stamps instead of the holiday teddy bears.
And I was like, I'm not going anywhere, postal lady. I see you and your forms and and I'm forming a posse with this old guy behind me who's been drooling for the last half hour, plus this crying three-year old in a snow suit, plus this homeless guy who's been walking around the line asking for change; and we're coming at you like a spider monkey.
Well, most of that happened, up until the post-office posse part. By the time I left I wanted to reach through the plexiglass and strangle someone (now I know why they have the plexiglass).
Can someone who has achieved P.O. Zen advise me on this matter? I feel there is something I'm missing. I know other people who send packages regularly and seemingly without neurotic effects. Tell me your secret so I can go to the post office again without having a restraining order put on me.
9 comments:
Don't go to the PO. That is Brit's job.
it's all about the automated postal machine-in and out in 4 minutes flat!
Laughed so hard I peed a little! Anyway, back to the matter at hand...it can all be done here
Good Luck!
I don't have any suggestions but you sure are one funny lady.
I am an NYC post office expert. Allow me to impart my great wisdom to you (pay no attention to that girl behind the curtain):
numero uno: TIMING. DON'T go on a monday because the weekend just happened and people wants them some post office after going without for 1.5 days. DON'T go right when the thing opens or right before it closes.
deux: PREPARATION. DO bring a bottle of water and some mixed nuts and/or a fruit roll-up with you. DO fill out any form you think you might ever need in a hunnerd million years while you wait in line.
three: LOCATION. Does Columbia have a post office (hint: prolly yes)? If so, do as much postal business there as you can. Most of the time campus post offices are less busy because the kids don't know how to send mail yet.
four: MIND TRICKS. Learn telekinesis and send your mail without posting it. Use your powers to burn up the people in line in front of you, or at least make their knees give out like the troll on Sinai so they have to leave the line.
May the force be with you.
i'm with oliva on timing and the whole "knees give out like a troll" thing.
i say go an hour after it opens.
and the only thing i can add is be prepared to flirt it up with the male and females. or at least ask them, "has it been a long day?" and "what time does your shift end" - they'll be putty i tell you - putty!
I actually completely gave up on going to the post office. If I go, I only go to buy stamps at the automated vending machine. Now I just ship via UPS, Fed-ex, and DHL. It's not too much more, but I can do it from my home computer in a few seconds, it goes straight to a credit card and I just have to drop it in a box sometime that day. I figured my time is more valuable than the $1-2 more that I end up paying...AND I get a tracking number and an email when it ships and arrives! Something the USPS has not yet mastered....
We have a post office for HBS not Harvard, just HBS. This makes me think for sure there is one at Columbia. Use it while you can. It is the best post office experience I have ever had.
Also, try to get the post man not woman at the desk. It usually helps. Jon, our post office man, loves the ladies and little kids too. Last night I went and as I filled out international shipping forms we talked about the Boston ballet.
First of all, LOL.I have totally been there.
Second, Olivia is right, listen to her.
Third, I too have had my own probs with usps (the one of 104th st) in the past few weeks. my solution is to yell and carrying on like a seasoned new yorker. mind you, don't scream or become irrational, just let them know you are force not to be reckoned with and that they better listen to your demands.
Also, look frustrated (not hard to do). Tears welling up in the eyes helps. Little white lies go a long way (i called earlier and "marge" said all i have to do is fill out this form.)
Good Luck!
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